It is difficult to respond with calmness and dignity to comments that unjustly attack one’s moral character, support oppression and violence and are generally inane and baseless. It is disheartening to read these sorts of comments, as it shows how far we have yet to go. We are indeed two Indias, and the repressive India seems to be the larger. Perhaps blogging on these topics is pointless, as many of you have said to me, but I still feel that I must try. If even I cannot sustain the heart and courage to fight back, then who will?

So, let me respond, point by point, to the major themes of the verbal attacks directed towards me in my previous post:

[DISCLAIMER:  To those of you who do not agree with drinking but gave graciously tolerant remarks in support of women's rights, this response is not at all directed towards you. I appreciate your tolerance and respect your views.]

ATTACK 1: I am not fit to be an Indian woman

This line of attack smacks of the same mentality that drives Ram Sene to commit acts of violence against women. If a woman drinks, she is considered a whore. No questions asked. Doesn’t matter what the men are doing, of course, because men can do whatever the hell they want. But women must uphold our backwards ideals of chasteness and purity. And these archaic ideals of purity are tied to religion, so that is ALL the justification we need. And, in the name of RELIGION? Well, we can do whatever we god damn please. We can even kill women who dare to be unchaste and drink a beer with the boys…sound familiar to you? Sounds a lot like religious terrorism to me.

When I said I don’t have shame drinking in front of my aunts and uncles, it is because I do not think it is fair that my uncles are allowed to drink, but my aunts are not. Why should I feel shame for demanding gender equality? I do not. If my husband drinks, I drink. If I do not drink, he does not drink either.

ATTACK 2: I am harming my body and brain by drinking

Of course no one bothered to ask how often / much do I drink.  People just assumed that if I drink I must be abusing alcohol like a dirty old man who gets drunk every night and comes home and beats his wife. For your information, I drink very moderately and quite infrequently (much less than the recommended amount of one glass per day).

Maybe you haven’t heard the news, but studies have repeatedly shown that drinking moderate amounts of alcohol is GOOD for your health. So, sorry to disappoint, but the ‘not good for you’ argument is just plain wrong.

Note that I haven’t said to you, “you are harming your health by not drinking, so please start drinking.”

ATTACK 3: Women should not dress provocatively, because it will incite men’s animal instincts

How many of the people who made this comment have seen a Bollywood movie in the past year? My guess is the answer is 100%. When you watch Priyanka bounce around in a tight dress, do you not feel your so-called animal instincts being stimulated? If you don’t, then you certainly wouldn’t be stimulated by me doing the same thing, because I am not more attractive than she. And, if you do, then why do you voluntarily go watch her? No one is forcing you. Or, is it Priyanka’s fault for doing it? Yes, that must be it. Priyanka is a manipulative whore who forces all Indian men to be “stimulated” against their will.

You might be wondering why, if I myself dress like Priyanka, did I make my post about Bollywood Porn below? The reason is that I think Bollywood is an outgrowth of our sexual repression. Men like you will excoriate me for wearing a revealing dress, but will go in hoards to watch Priyanka do it. Moreover, many of you won’t appreciate a movie that does not showcase a well-endowed woman bouncing around half-naked (see comments to my post about Slumdog). Bollywood has become pornographic because there is DEMAND for it. It is the hypocracy that bothers me, not Priyanka’s dress.

Note that only a small fraction of Hollywood movies have the same level of soft porn that 99% of Bollywood movies do. Why? I thought American culture is profligate and Indian culture is chaste…

ATTACK 4: Drinking and sex are not Indian

Read, my friends. Read the tales from our ancient texts. You are deluding yourselves. Sex is CELEBRATED in our traditions. I pity the repressed fools who think sex is not Indian. You will also find references to Ram and Sita drinking wine together (before having sex). And, as one of our more astute commentors, Nadeem Khan, noted:

“Can you tell me how many Ram Sena and other Sena group members don’t drink alcohol. My dear, do you know the percentage of consumption of alcohol in Indian Army and other departments? Grow up.. stop behaving as kid.
To respect elders there is no specific dress code, we can respect elders in wearing jeans/shorts and as well as in wearing shalwar kurta.
Personally I am in favor of preserving culture and against drinking BUT I can’t dictate anyone.”

Btw, did you know that pornography is one of the largest sources of Internet revenue in India? I’m sure many of you know that from personal experience…

ATTACK 5: Pink Chaddis are vulgar

You mean, pink chaddis make you feel uncomfortable? Yes, that’s because you are sexually repressed. And I’m sure Ms. Nisha took that into account when she planned her ingenious protest. Making an oppressor feel uncomfortable is the point of a peaceful protest.

ATTACK 6: I must be a Muslim in disguise

This is actually an older attack in response to my call for unity. I am assuming by now you are all sufficiently convinced that I do not have any hidden religious agendas, as I do not imagine any Muslim fundamentalist would advocate a woman drinking and going to pubs (please correct me if I am wrong, and I will be happy to provide further proof of my secularism).

p.s. for those who were wondering, the picture of the white chaddis with pink polka dots is not me. it’s a Victoria’s Secret model.

I am a proud supporter of the pink chaddi movement and a recent member of their fb group. Obviously, the purports and actions of the Sri Ram Sene group are abhorrent, and we should all applaud the Pink Chaddi ladies for their innovative form of protest.

I have been going out to pubs since I was a teenager, and I have no qualms about wearing a skimpy cocktail dress when I’m in the party mood. I do believe that women should be free to dress as they please, drink alcohol, celebrate Valentine’s Day, and enjoy any and all freedoms that are afforded to us as citizens of a democratic society. I dress the same at clubs in Delhi and Mumbai as I do in New York or LA, and I will drink in front of aunts and uncles without shame. I admire the women in India who are taking a stand against pigheaded conservatism.

But some, such as Ms. Sagarika Ghose, fear that we are getting so carried away with our westernized partying that we may be leaving any real opportunity for widespread cultural progress behind. Ms. Ghose’s point is simple — there is an increasing divide between the modern elite and the uneducated masses in India. And, by engaging in morally loose actions that politicians can scapegoat, we ‘modern elite’ are providing perfect fodder to help rouse the masses against us. Moral depravity is easier to rally against than economic progress. They can’t fault us for getting an education and earning money, but they can admonish us for going against centuries of religious tradition. There is real danger in what is happening, because these fundamentalists — just like the religious terrorists — are not just grumpy old men…they are recruiting youth to their movements also.

Indian modernization is an interesting beast, because it is happening incredibly fast and incredibly unevenly. We should certainly embrace it, but we should be more mindful of what modernization really means, and what we are giving up in return for our freedom. When we flaunt our bodies and seize male freedoms, we are sacrificing a demure self-confidence which we can never regain. When we celebrate love openly and eschew arranged marriages, we are risking divorce and disappointment. If we approach modernism with greater awareness, we will be less effective targets for fundamentalist backlash.

Go Pink Chaddis!!!

I wanted to give you all a chance to voice your opinions on what matters most to you, and offer a common platform to bloggers discussing social issues affecting India. Leave a link to your blog in the comments below, with a post on a topic of your choice. We look forward to reading your insightful posts!

It’s no secret to anyone that Bollywood has become increasingly liberal with its sex scenes and dress codes over the past decade. Long gone are the days of the subtle fade-away over young lovers closing in for an affectionate nuzzle. Yesterday’s wet-sari dances have been replaced by today’s skimpy bikini-trots, or even full-on sex scenes.

We youth should be celebrating this epic change – a herald of India’s sexual liberation. While it is an obvious boon to the young men who love watching Bollywood hotties, it is perhaps the women who should be celebrating most. Women are now free to frolic around nearly naked on screen, groping and booty-shakin’ as they please. After centuries of oppressive limitations on what to wear, how to act in public, and how to speak with the opposite sex — Indian women are finally free.

But, is all this pornographic content really liberating Indian women? Do you feel empowered when you – and your boyfriend – watch Mallika having an orgasm (or is that something else you’re feeling?)

In our enthusiasm to embrace the Western ideals of free-falling breasts and jiggling butt-cheeks, I can’t help but feel that we’ve missed something important regarding women’s liberation…

At least in my mind, Sri Devi commanded more respect in that sultry sari than Mallika does in her biker-babe booty shorts.